Bomberman Eternity
by Professor Onion
Summary: The eccentric scientist, Dr. Cornelius Ein creates the robot, Bomberman Shirobon, to protect the galaxy from evil and bring universal peace. Large explosions, cartoon violence and general zaniness ensue! AU (as if the Bomberman series had consistent myt


Prologue – The Unveiling  
  
The crowd fell into a hush as Dr. Ein walked up to the podium. The eccentric scientist straightened his tie, adjusted his glasses, drained a glass of water, cleared his throat, drained another glass of water, cleared his throat again, than drained yet another glass of water. "That is good water!" The scientist rambled to an off stage coordinator, "It must be bottled spring. Very pure!" There were a few muffled complaints among the crowd of journalists as Ein spent the better part of the next five minutes organizing his papers. The renowned roboticist hardly cut an imposing form, standing just over five feet tall, and looked to be anywhere between his late forties to early seventies. His appearance was completely absurd, with a flat-top haircut, thick moustache, and a peach fuzz beard. But his most noticeable aspect were his glasses. They were so thick that it was absolutely impossible to see the eyes underneath, and they were crowned by cotton ball-like eyebrows. Though the doctor was known to be benevolent, he simply looked insane. But the interest reporters and members of the scientific community naturally strayed to the object under the sheet, about the size of a human child. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the press!" Ein exclaimed, "I am here to announce the greatest advancement in science in the last century!" The mad doctor slammed his fist on the podium, and his tone completely changed as he proudly announced, "I HAVE TO GO TO THE LITTLE BOYS' ROOM!"

  
  
Dr. Ein whistled off-key and wiped his hands with a towelette as he reentered the press room, now a little emptier, as at least half the news people had left after witnessing Ein's unconventional behavior first-hand. He spoke again to the coordinator, "Is there somewhere I can throw this? Honestly now, why don't the bathrooms here have rubbish bins..." A garbage can slid out onto the stage and Ein tossed the towelette into it, giving the manager a thumbs up. "Now, where was I..." Ein scratched his chin, "Oh, yes!" Ein assumed an upright posture and gripped the podium with one hand while motioning melodramatically with the other, "As my esteemed colleagues are aware, I would never make a public appearance like this unless I had something monumental to share with you!" The scientists in the crowd nodded. The odd scientist, once a contributing member of the robotics community, had vanished and had been living as a recluse for almost a decade; until today.  
  
Ein lifted his other hand in a grand gesture, "And so I announce that my newest creation shall finally bring eternal peace to the universe, by defeating all hostile forces!" Ein smiled smugly at the whispers amongst the crowd, "Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, my most esteemed colleagues, I give you... Bomberman Number Zero-One – Shirobon!" Ein pulled the sheet from his robot. The crowd fell absolutely silent. The peace keeping robot stood no taller than four feet in height. It was roughly human shaped, long spindly white limbs sprouted from an egg-shaped blue torso, which were tipped by ball-shaped, pink hands and small pink feet. The oddest feature of the machine was it's head, white and shaped like a television set. A short antennae stuck out from the back of it's head, tipped by another pink ball. The "monitor" was currently blank.  
  
Ein grinned at his creation, "Now, Shirobon, there's no need to be so shy, say hello to the nice people." Shirobon's monitor lit-up a yellowish tan color. Two black vertical, parallel lines appeared, which onlookers assumed served as the robot's eyes. They quickly changed to a different shape, similar to upside down U's. 

"Hello, people!" Shirobon beamed. His voice was high, as if he had just swallowed a liter of helium. 

This was too much for the crowd. The robot's small size, comical appearance and silly voice was just too damned funny. They broke into hysterical laughter. Shirobon's face took on a concerned look, but after a few seconds he started laughing along with the crowd. This was not the reaction Dr. Ein had been hoping for. "How dare you laugh at my Shirobon without witnessing the awesome destructive abilities at his disposal!" The mad doctor seethed, "Shirobon, demonstrate your full capabilities!"

Shirobon took on a serious look and nodded in agreement, "Right away, Doctor". One reporter looked up from his bout of mirth to see a round, black cartoonish bomb seemingly materialize in the robot's hand. 

"Shirobon has the ability to generate high grade explosives in a matter of seconds through the miracle of matter synthesis, hence the series designation, Bomberman!" The doctor ranted, "Shirobon, show them how powerful your bombs are!" Ein was practically frothing at the mouth by now. Without even thinking twice, Shirobon lobbed the bomb into the now- terrified audience. The bomb exploded in a blinding flash...  
  
Ambulance sirens screamed through the evening sky as Shirobon and Dr. Ein, covered in ash, reflected on the burning convention building. Fortunately, nobody was seriously injured, and the police of B-City didn't make arrests for all-too-common "Zany Mishap" type offenses. 

Shirobon turned to his creator and simply said, "Doctor, perhaps that was not the ideal environment for an arms demonstration." 

Ein shrugged, "Shirobon , my boy, the older you get, the more you learn there IS no bad time for big explosions, come now, let's go home," Ein threw his arms over his shoulders. Smoke still rose from the old man's hair.

"Doctor, your hair is still on fire." Shirobon observed. 

"HA HA HA! How wonderful!" The mad doctor gibbered. 

Shirobon smacked his face with his ball-like hand. Great, he thought, I was created by a maniac, as the two strange figures faded into the sunset. 


End file.
